Like Dust in the Wind...

So everyone in the world has dreams. I've had my share. I thought my dream was to be a chef. I went to a culinary vocational and found that i didnt want to do that as a proffesion. Now not only do i not want to do it as a proffesion, I dont even want to cook for my husband. So i went to school for a cna, thought i could follow my grandma and be a nurse. I wasnt any good at that either. I made it through the classes, got my license, but couldnt find a job. Home health was it and i failed at it. So i went to college for an rn. Thought maybe i could work in a hospital or something. Flunked out. Failed. Then i thought i could be a pet groomer...Found out that i cant get a loan to go to school. Im not good enough for a loan. Now my latest dream........something i've only told a couple people.....and its gone....just gone.....Nothing i've done in my life has been good enough. I cant seem to succeed at anything i've set out to do. I'm doomed to fall into the same path as my mother. I dont wanna be there, but i can only fail so many times before i just dont wanna try anymore. My fight has been taken from me. I no longer want to get out of bed in the morning. There's no reason to. I can only fail so many times before i give up.

life choices

so im having issues again. nothing bad. could be a lot worse. just choices.      



i have currently decided something. over the last couple of weeks or so i have come to find this choice is very important to me. its a complete turn around from whhat i had said before. its something i never thought i would hear myself say. im sure. ive thought it through, ready to go......only problem.......kirk doesnt agree. what am i to do? go along with what i want or try to make him happy? he so rarely tells me no. its even more difficult that its something i find important. what am i to do? im just not sure what to do.